lifeonq.com

Drop the Soap. Please.

If you find man-on-man rape humorous… if you think a prison sentence would be entertaining… then there’s a new game for you, available from the governor’s mansion of the state of Kansas. Governor Kathleen Sebelius‘ son John is the creator of what must be the world’s most bizarre and tasteless board game. It’s called “Don’t Drop the Soap.” The game is reportedly the result of an art school project by the 23-year-old son of the governor, a Democrat, and her federal magistrate court judge husband, Gary.

Available at the end of this month, you can have the game for your very own for a mere $34.99 plus shipping and handling. Apparently, the shipping will be handled from One SW Cedar Crest Road in Topeka, Kansas. Yep, that’s the governor’s mansion, the house that the people of Kansas maintain with their tax dollars.

Obviously, John Sebelius is some piece of work. What is it with heterosexual fantasies (or is it merely ignorance) about homo-sex and showers? What makes prison rape, (or stealing or gang fighting, for that matter) an acceptable premise for fun and games? And why would Governor Sebelius send her spokeswoman out to proclaim her and her husband’s pride at their son’s “creativity and talent?”

Play “Don’t Drop the Soap” and fight in gang wars, steal painkillers, smoke your stash in “The Hole,” and–the most fun of all–try to avoid being raped by Aryans in the shower room. I’m not making this up.

But rest assured, absolutely no lead paint was used in the manufacture of the game. John also promises us that “no puppies were injured” in the production of any of his products, which also include t-shirts featuring his artwork. (Note to readers: I am purposely not providing a link to John Sebelius’ Website. I do not want to inadvertently support him.)

Sebelius the younger, the third generation of two successful political families, clearly has no political ambition. (His grandfather, Kathleen’s dad John Gilligan, was governor of Ohio in the 1970’s. His dad’s dad, the late Keith Sebelius, was a Republican Congressman for 12 years.)

Certainly, John the younger has the creativity it takes to get away with selling an adults-only game about prison rape from the Kansas governor’s mansion, and get his parents’ blessing to boot. But what John Sebelius does not have is a talent for good taste.

As for Gov. Sebelius? Well, she may or may not know much about art, but she should know what is distasteful to a largely Democratic-leaning LGBT voter base. And she should know better that an adult game glorifying crime is not appropriate business to come out of the governor’s mansion.

On the other hand, despite the fact that she is pushing 60, Kathleen Sebelius is one hot governor. Should she ever find herself on the wrong side of the law, I’m sure her cell mates will be hoping she’ll drop the soap. Please.

(Don’t worry, governor. I’m only being creative.)